get more massive

Being Manly, the Phone Fiasco, and my Numb Penis

How I was manly carrying a case of beer home, trying to get a phone and not being allowed to have it, and my penis going numb...

I did it anyway - I went and impressed Germany with my manliness! That case of beer I mentioned last time called to me: Sam... Buy meeeee... So I did! It was especially manly because it was only sold by the case at the farthest shop, meaning I carried it home past more (highly impressed) people than I'd planned. I'm so manly (and so sore). Something else that'd made me sore was all the riding I've been doing. I got over that cold weather thing, German Winter tends to do, with some clever motherly advice: wear a hat. It was very surprising how much heat you keep in without the air rushing past your ears. It's so great a difference that even my fingers stayed warm... and it was raining all day, my god! 55 km in the rain (going slowly) must have looked very manly too, I bet. Have I shown you all my new bike yet? Shiny, don't you think?

I have decided NOT to go to gym training with Meike until her present is complete. This decision shall last until next Tuesday, when I'll cave in and go anyway.

Riding all the time is fun but it has problems. Our issue of the week is 'penile numbing' which bothers me a lot. Just try to stand up and use a toilet with that, I dare you! You don't know what's happening. This little problem (ahem, big problem) came about after one full lap of Wannsee - a series of small lakes near Meike's house. It's kinda' big. No, actually, it's very big: 75 km loop. I know this because I have a shiny new bike computer! Yay! Happy Sam with shiny things to play with :-D Ignoring all it's basics, best of all it has a temperature reading and altimeter. Now I'll never be without knowing exactly how high and cold I am at the same time! This is excitement +. There's was more graffiti along the way I liked: king foxes, uplifting comments on society, 'save the sausages', and someone doing Australia proud. Fun day - sore perineum.

Germany efficiency has gone way down since last I was here. No, perhaps only that I never tried getting a mobile phone before! Ordering online: clicky-click easy; however, getting it delivered:

Sorry, we can ONLY deliver it Monday between 10 am and 3 pm, and you MUST be home to PROVE your details are correct

What? Only then and only Monday? What about people who work?

Your second option is collect from our offices. You may come between precisely 7 and 9.30 am

[unhappy grumbly noises]

You'll need your passport to prove your identity

It'd be easy if that was it, but sadly not. After finding the damn offices - some dodgy-lookin' place in the middle of nowhere - the oh so helpful man told Meike that her passport was inadequate as ID! WTF?!? No address on the passport = no way. Get f**ked! So delivery to our house at 10 am then? Ok... But we'll make them come up the 8 flights of stairs to deliver it! A little later (when 11.25 am finally rolled around) up came the delivery man with his official-looking clip board, official-looking red jacket, and a brown cardboard box. Yay-ness! My new mobile phone has arrived!

Your ID?

[passes student card and other ID]

[checking checking]

[waiting waiting]

Your date of birth does not match. Sorry, I can't give this to you.

I stepped back as tension between the man and Meike was a little bit too much for me. And his final advice as he started walking back down the 8 flights of stairs: You should try ordering the phone again. There was a little screaming as we closed the door.

- Update -

Someone thinks the 'king fox' is actually a 'king squirrel' - HA! What do you think?